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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135499">Bedlam? I Hardly Know Him!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awakening5/pseuds/Awakening5'>Awakening5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Hardly Know Them [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confined Space, Dumb-ass Spider-Man, F/M, Longsuffering MJ, Meet-Bang, Part Two, Sexual Content, Smut, almost, but not really, naked this time, never thought I'd write a sequel to Armoire but here we are, she loves it, so close</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:55:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awakening5/pseuds/Awakening5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"No, yeah. My head hurts a little, but I'll be fine. I just...I just have one question, MJ."</p><p>She bites her lip, concern in her eyes. "What's up?"</p><p>"Why am I naked?" he asks.</p><p>or</p><p>The Armoire isn’t the only place Peter finds himself in close quarters with MJ.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones/Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Hardly Know Them [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bedlam? I Hardly Know Him!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I would say that you need to read the first part of this series to understand this. But let's be real. It's just an absurd scenario and some smut. How much backstory/set-up do you really need?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mask pulled safely back over his face, Peter stumbles out of the Armoire after MJ. He tries to turn away from her so she can't see they very obvious erection he's sporting. Then again, she just spent the last ten minutes rubbing against it while they made out, so Peter's not sure why he's trying to hide anything.</p><p>MJ clears her throat. "Okay...so that was..."</p><p>He gives up his charade and turns back to her. She's smiling. "Kind of awesome?" he suggests, still more than a little dazed from her lips and her body moving against him like that. He takes some steadying breaths.</p><p>She laughs. "I was going to say crazy. But yeah, kind of awesome too, Spidey."</p><p>He breathes out a sigh of relief. Is this the part where he asks for her number? There had been talk of meeting up later to talk the case—which she had immediately called him out on. He was definitely trying to ask her out, and just using the case as an excuse.</p><p>"So what's the plan?" Peter asks instead of requesting digits. His body is finally getting back under control, and it's probably best just to move on for the immediate future. He looks out the window "The cop cars are still outside, but I don't hear them searching the house anymore."</p><p>"They're probably watching the front," MJ says, and checks her phone. Peter's still really impressed she hacked into Hammerhead's security. Maybe if he'd worn his Karen suit, he'd have been warned about the sensors he'd set off. But he liked to do things on his own more often than not nowadays. He might have to learn a thing or two from MJ. "We could go out back?"</p><p>"Sounds like a plan to me," he says, and starts to move.</p><p>"Hold up Peter," MJ says, and stops Peter in his tracks. He'd momentarily forgotten he'd blurted out his name to her. As stupid as it was, he rather likes her saying his name.</p><p>"I can't believe I told you my name," he mutters, shaking his head.</p><p>She's grinning. "What's your last name?"</p><p>"That's only for women I go to third base with," Peter smirks. "So, what are we waiting for?"</p><p>"To get to third base?" MJ snorts, and waves off Peter when he panics at the misunderstanding. She's messing with him. He loves it. She and moves around to the other side of Hammerhead's desk. "I've still got to get the info from his computer."</p><p>"I'll just do a quick reconnaissance then," Peter says. MJ tosses her phone to him, and it's open to schematics of the home's security measures. "Thanks, MJ."</p><p>"Don't get us caught again," she says with a smirk while she opens the laptop on the desk.</p><p>Peter sneaks out of the office and searches the house. It turns out, the police are still present. They're hanging out on the first floor, which will make using the stairs difficult. Not a problem for Peter, of course.</p><p>"Good news, bad news situation," Peter announces when he walks back into the office a few minutes later. MJ is clacking away at the computer; she's got a flash drive connected to it. She looks up at his announcement. "Good news: I think we'll be able to sneak out back. Bad news: We'll have to do it from the third floor."</p><p>She visibly swallows before nodding and looking back at the computer. "I assume you can take care of that?" she asks, and Peter hears a tremor in her voice that he doesn't think he would pick up on without his enhanced senses.</p><p>"I can get us down fine," he tries to reassure her. "I can also cause a distraction so they leave, if you'd prefer?"</p><p>"I'll be fine," she assures him, steely resolve on her face. Or maybe she's assuring herself, Peter's not sure. Her face softens. "It's definitely not worth you raising more of a suspicion. Thanks though."</p><p>She wraps up whatever file extraction she's doing—and Peter kind of just assumes he's going to borrow whatever information she gets at this point. He's more focused on her safety at this point than any dirt he can get on Hammerhead. She tucks away the hard drive she's got, and follows Peter out of the office and down a hallway.</p><p>They come to a bedroom, and Peter leads her inside and to the back where a pair of windows show the pool in the back yard, a little over thirty feet below. Peter would never care to have a place so extravagant, but he has to admit the back yard looks beautiful, even in the wintertime. Though he doubts the pool house gets much use this time of year. MJ holds her breath to his side and draws his attention back to her.</p><p>Peter tries to remember what it was like before becoming Spider-Man. Was thirty feet a high distance to fall from? Would he have been scared at the prospect of dropping from this height?</p><p>He opens the window and pops the screen out, carefully pulling it back inside. The cold hits him, and he's grateful for the heating coils he installed in this suit. No Karen AI was one thing, but swinging in the Winter without some additional heat? He's not crazy.</p><p>He steps out, and he sits on the sill. He turns back to MJ, who's watching him with narrowed eyes. Peter rolls to the side and sticks to the wall outside, reaching his hand back in. "Are you ready?"</p><p>She takes a deep breath and steps to the window. Peter tries not to get distracted by her long leg as she stretches it out the window. Just a few minutes ago, she had those legs wrapped around his thigh as she rutted against him.</p><p>Peter shakes his head. His erection had gone away just fine; now was not the time to tempt it again.</p><p>He put a hand on her waist as she brought her other leg out. She held the window sill with a vice grip, and Peter heard her heart rate spiking as she looked down. "I've got you MJ," he tells her, and one of her hands lifts from the sill to cling to his shoulder.</p><p>"You're just, like, super sticky or something, right? Like, you don't fall?"</p><p>"Not since I was figuring my powers out," Peter tells her. "Almost a decade ago."</p><p>She nods, sharp jerks of her head. After squeezing her eyes shut, she brings her other hand up and wraps around his neck. Her grip is too tight, but he's not about to tell her that. Instead, he turns them around, pinning her against the wall, and she wraps her legs around him once again. "I'm just going to get the window screen back in place. You okay?"</p><p>She nods. her eyes are closed, and he finds her really cute. Distracting, really.</p><p>He manages to move the screen out with them, shuts the window, and puts the screen back in place. All the while, he tries to ignore the feel of her around him. The way she clutches him, and the breath against his mask. He shoots a web at the wall beside them, and starts lower them down, a slow repel.</p><p>And then a few things happen all at once that are not ideal. He hears a shout from around the house—probably barely audible to MJ. A light flicks on down below, shining on the pool. A dog barks from the house past the snow-topped hedgerow. With his intense senses dialed up, but with the distraction of MJ in his arms, it's momentary bedlam for Peter. And he stupidly, foolishly, impulsively lets go of his web.</p><p>Normally that would be fine, of course. This was merely a trained instinct of reacting to his Spidey sense to <em>move</em>, to get away from the current situation and deal with his new situation later. But when he's holding MJ, it is not the best idea. She gasps a silent scream, and Peter shoots out another web, and he's not too focused on anything except making sure MJ is safe.</p><p>All he knows is that he contorts his body oddly to make her fall less jarring, even going so far as to <em>toss</em> her as they near the ground to lessen the impact for her.</p><p>And then a blinding pain hits just behind Peter's right ear. A rush of cold water. And then darkness.</p><p> </p><p>He opens his eyes, and his first thought is about the dull throb of pain in his head. He would try to focus on it, and remember how the pain got there, but there's a second, more pressing matter to address.</p><p>He's at least mostly naked, his hair feels damp, and MJ is lying on top of him. He can't see her because of the towels thrown over them, but she definitely <em>feels</em> almost naked as well.</p><p>"Oh thank god," she whispers when she sees his eyes are open. "Fuck, Peter—that was <em>not</em> cool."</p><p>It's then that he vaguely remembers the events that led to this point. Well, not <em>this</em> point exactly because he's still very much in the dark about why he's naked with MJ. But he remembers the armoire and the jump from the third story, and the noises all hitting him at once, and his poorly controlled decent.</p><p>"Oh shit, MJ, are you okay?" he asks, not entirely sure if he's been able to get her safely on the ground.</p><p>"I'm fine," she rolls her eyes. "You tossed me clear of the pool onto some dead grass, nothing more than a scrape on my arm. It's <em>you</em> I'm worried about. Are you okay?"</p><p> She shifts to get a better look at him. Peter swallows. She's wearing her bra...but Peter is fairly sure that's the only garment between the two of them, and he's really having a hard time concentrating. Not a <em>hard</em> time, exactly. Not yet, anyway. But it's difficult.</p><p>"No, yeah. My head hurts a little, but I'll be fine. I just...I just have one question, MJ."</p><p>She bites her lip, concern in her eyes. "What's up?"</p><p>"Why am I naked?" he asks.</p><p>"You hit your head on the diving board of the pool. And it knocked you out, into the near-freezing water."</p><p>"Right," Peter says slowly. That would explain the pain in his head and the loss of consciousness. "And why am I naked?"</p><p>She rolls her eyes. "You were floating in a pool of freezing water, Peter!" She shifts again, and Peter actually groans. No matter how unsexy the situation may be, MJ's naked skin against his was still hot as fuck, and his blood was starting to pump. "I had to get you out of the wet suit and do something to heat you up. And this pool equipment is only generating so much heat."</p><p>It's only now that it really dawns on him that he's maskless as well. Shit. He'd really wanted to do that unveiling for MJ in better circumstances. He debates telling her this. Or telling her that his suit has heating coils that would've done a good job keeping him warm. But he's still got one lingering question. "Okay...and why are <em>you</em> naked?"</p><p>MJ huffs out in frustration. "You know, I'd heard that Spider-Man was a genius underneath all the quips and the muscles. Dude, <em>someone</em> had to fish you out of that water before the cops came around the house!"</p><p>Peter nods, and looks around him for the first time. He realizes they're in the pool house. Probably the back, stuffed with the equipment that isn't as pretty as the rest of the back yard. He is laying on something soft despite being on the ground. To his right is a pump making noise and giving off a little heat. He shifts to look underneath him and sees a pool float that is normally for laying in water. Only now, it's giving some measure of comfort to this increasingly uncomfortable situation.</p><p>"Right, right. So <em>why</em> are you naked?" Peter asks again, starting to freak out. He's fairly confident she can feel his growing erection against her leg now, and he feels terrible.</p><p>"Dude I was <em>wet</em>!" she whispers at him in a harsh tone.</p><p>"Please don't say that MJ, fuck," he says, and screws his eyes shut.</p><p>"Come on, Peter. I was grinding against your dick twenty minutes ago. We don't need to make this weird."</p><p>"Easy for you to say," Peter manages. "Your body doesn't give away when it's turned on in a situation that should <em>definitely </em>not turn me on. Also, you're not the one that's completely naked."</p><p>MJ smirks. "Would it be better if I were?"</p><p>Peter groans. "Define better."</p><p>Her smirk drops for a moment, and she looks intently at Peter. Perhaps a little vulnerable. "Seriously though, Spidey. I'm trying to act like this isn't a big deal in part to convince myself it's not. I'm terrified I crossed some boundary here, and I'm really sor—"</p><p>"No," Peter interrupts her, and brings a hand up to her back. He touches bare skin, but for the first time in this insane situation, he doesn't view the skin-to-skin contact as anything remotely sexual. "MJ, I might be freaking out, but you might have saved my life by doing this. It's okay. And thank you."</p><p>She swallows, and nods. "And it's okay if being naked with me makes you hard."</p><p>He nods right back at her. "That's good, cuz it's only a matter of time."</p><p>"We both know it's already started," she says, and her smirk has returned.</p><p>Now with her permission to, ahem, <em>react</em>, Peter feels a little more confident in firing back at her. "Yeah, well <em>you</em> try telling your body not to react when an outrageously attractive and naked woman is lying on top of you."</p><p>"For the record," she says, and settles into his chest more fully, "having you <em>under</em> me does things, too."</p><p>Peter's heart thumps against his chest—and by proximity, <em>her </em>chest as well. His fingers that had innocently moved to her back move up not-so-innocently. She shivers under his touch, and her eyes flicker to his lips.</p><p>Peter swallows thickly. "So, the cops you mentioned..."</p><p>"Heard them walk by a couple minutes before you woke up," she explains in a whisper. "They didn't see anything suspicious and when they found the pool house door was locked, they moved on."</p><p>"Smart of you to lock it," Peter tells her, and his fingers dance along the hook of her bra. She's leaning in close, and he can feel the breath of her whisper.</p><p>"It <em>is</em> nice being alone."</p><p>Their lips meet again, and as charged as the armoire had been, there is no comparison. Feeling every inch of her skin against his is every good stimulation he could possibly ask for. With one exception. So when she runs her tongue along his bottom lip, Peter deftly unhooks her bra. She lifts herself momentarily from his chest so they can pull the meager final article of clothing from her. He makes sure to look at her closely before she leans back down to kiss him again.</p><p>"Fuck, MJ," he says into her lips. "How...are you so...perfect?"</p><p>Her chest heaves as her breathing quickens, and she plants hurried kisses across her cheek, and nips at his earlobe. He's good and hard between her legs now and resists every urge he has to wriggle into a position to relieve the growing ache. Instead, he runs his hands up and down her back, burying them into her wonderful hair, and then lowering them to the swell of her backside.</p><p>She starts to rock gently against him, still pressing wet kisses to his neck while she does. "Is this okay?" he asks, grabbing her ass and squeezing.</p><p>She nods frantically against his neck before bringing her lips back up to kiss him dirty. Her tongue is probing, and she rocks her body more diligently. He reaches up with one hand to brush her hair from her face so he can see her more clearly. She stops kissing him for a moment so they can stare at each other. A soft smile comes to her face and he knows he's grinning right back. She reaches up to capture his hand in hers, and interlocks their fingers.</p><p>She brings their held hands up above Peter's head, and ruts against him some more. "Peter...touch me?"</p><p>He nods, and lowers his free hand from her ass to press inside of her. He can't get as deep as he'd like at this angle, but he can't bring himself to change their position just yet. Not when she's moving on him like this. And not with that gasp of pleasure and how turned on she obviously is.</p><p>"Fuck, MJ, you <em>are</em> wet!" He lifts his head to kiss her at her collar bone.</p><p>"Told you it wasn't just you," MJ says with a huff, and rocks back and forth on his finger.</p><p>He shuts his eyes for a moment and luxuriates in the moment. The heat of her body and skin moving against his settles deep inside of him. He's not on a pool floaty in a pool house of a mobster anymore. He's in some version of heaven, and there's nothing but him and MJ.</p><p>"Peter what," she asks him, shaking him from eternity.</p><p>"What?" He opens his eyes to see her staring intently at him.</p><p>"You said," she breathes out. "Third base earns me a last name?"</p><p>Peter laughs and kisses her. "Is that what this was all about?"</p><p>She raises her free hand to brush at the curls on his forehead. Her eyes hold a tenderness to them he hasn't noticed to this point. "Unexpected bonus."</p><p>"Parker," he laughs out. "Peter Parker."</p><p>"Michelle Jones," she tells him in response. "But I do prefer MJ."</p><p>She lifts her hips enough for his erection to finally settle between them, and then lower back against him. Her center is hot against him as she rocks her hips against him with agonizingly slow movements. His finger pulls free from her, and he lifts it to his mouth to taste her. She's perfect. Her eyes are blown as she watches him. She tugs his finger from his mouth to press her lips there again.</p><p>Peter takes the opportunity to spin them around. The towels fall from them, and the air is chilly against his bare skin, despite the pool pump and heater giving the pool house <em>some</em> heat. It doesn't matter. He's generating more than enough with MJ.</p><p>"Okay, MJ," Peter says, and starts kissing across her cheek, along her jaw, onto her neck. He works his way up to her ear. "<em>Michelle</em>," he whispers. She shivers under him and her fingers claw at his back.</p><p>"Maybe Michelle is good, too," she admits, breathless, and Peter grinds against her, careful not to press inside her. He leans down to kiss her breasts, softly, back and forth, deciding where to focus his attentions first.</p><p>One of her hands buries itself into his hair when he settles for licking her right nipple while dragging his thumb slowly over her left. "<em>Peter</em>!" she gasps with a tug of his hair, and the desire to sink inside of her triples. But he resists and obeys the subtle instructions of her moans and gasps until she's writhing and twisting to sate her own urges. She grinds against his thigh, his hip, his erection, and Peter rubs right back against her.</p><p>"You're gorgeous, MJ," Peter tells her when he's attended each breast to her seeming content. But she's<em> not</em> content. And she lets him know it.</p><p>"I want to fuck you, Peter. But I don't...I don't have a condom."</p><p>"I got one," he answers immediately, and leans over to his suit.</p><p>"You...you have one?" she asks hesitantly.</p><p>"Yeah," he rummages at the belt of his suit until he finds the right pocket, and pulls out a condom.</p><p>She's frowning at the suit when he throws it back to the side. He kneels between her legs, and frowns at her frown. "How is that already dry again?"</p><p>"Oh, I've got heating coils in there," he says with a wave of his hand.</p><p>"So all of this," she says, pointing between their naked bodies, "was unnecessary?"</p><p>He lets his eyes wander down her beautiful frame. "I guess not <em>technically</em> necessary. I'm not upset though."</p><p>She eyes the condom and bites her lip. "So, does Spidey hook up with people on the job often?"</p><p>And yeah, Peter can understand the concern. He honestly viewed this experience with Michelle as really quite special—and perhaps she does, too. He gets why she might be a little reserved that he carries a condom around with him on the job. He feels the need to explain himself.</p><p>"I—do you remember the Black Cat?" he asks.</p><p>"Felicia Hardy," MJ says with a nod. "I wrote about her when she went to jail."</p><p>Peter sighs. "For a, uh, while there. She...well, we never saw eye-to-eye. But there was a time when we worked together quite a bit. And, we—that is, we..."</p><p>"You fucked," MJ says with a roll of her eyes. She looks uncomfortable now with the way he's positioned between her legs.</p><p>"Yeah," Peter sighs again, really rather depressed that their hot and heavy affair had dissolved into this. He leans back down, and to her side, trying his best to not think about the way his dick drags over her leg and just how good it feels. She shifts to make room for him on the float. "We had a strange relationship—founded on deceit and lies, really. It wasn't healthy, but it was frequently...active. I wasn't always prepared, and <em>she</em> didn't seem to care half the time. And since then, I've just..."</p><p>"Been prepared," MJ supplies.</p><p>Peter nods, and finds the towels to cover themselves again. They need the heat now that they aren't moving together. "Sorry. This was...this might have gotten away from us a little."</p><p>She shifts on her side and raises a hand to brush his cheek and then card through his hair. Peter's eyes flutter at the small gesture. "I'm sorry, too. I...I don't care that you've been with people or anything."</p><p>Peter nods. "This is an entirely unique experience for me, MJ," he explains. She looks relieved that he's guessed her hesitation without having to admit it. "You're an entirely unique woman. I...I really like you, MJ."</p><p>Her smile is soft, and almost embarrassed. Peter leans forward to kiss her softly. She kisses him back. He holds her wrist as she tangles her hand in his hair, and brushes his thumb over her skin softly. It's far less heated than a few minutes before, but every bit as intimate.</p><p>When she pulls back, her eyes are closed. "Even though you're a shockingly big dork with a tendency to get me in tough situations, you're starting to grow on me too, Peter." She opens her eyes with a delicious grin. Peter laughs in pleased embarrassment. "But I guess there's no reason to rush into fucking in Hammerhead's pool house? Maybe we get some dinner before we continue this?"</p><p>Peter smiles and nods. "Talk about the case?"</p><p>She shrugs, and there's a glint in her eye. "If there's time."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The fic took an unexpected turn at the end for me. Maybe it's because I realized this was a meet-bang and subconsciously didn't want it to be a complete meet-bang. But one thing is certain. I will want to complete the bang at some point. Never thought the Armoire fic would become a trilogy, but here we are.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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